


Cupid's Arrows

by flawedamythyst



Series: Cupid [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Office, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Cupid Costumes, M/M, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-19 03:17:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13695744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flawedamythyst/pseuds/flawedamythyst
Summary: Tony's latest great idea for employee morale is to get a guy to dress up as Cupid and run around delivering love letters. Somehow, Bucky ends up being in charge of organising it.





	Cupid's Arrows

“It’s the best idea I’ve had in months,” Tony was saying as Bucky entered his office with the coffee for the morning meeting or, as he liked to think of it, the morning ‘Pepper yells at Tony for everything he came up with at 3AM and didn’t wait to consult her about before implementing.’

“It’s a sexual harassment lawsuit waiting to happen,” said Pepper. “No, on second thoughts, it’s many, many sexual harassment lawsuits waiting to happen.”

Tony rolled his eyes and took his mug from Bucky. “It’s Valentine’s, we have to do something.”

“We really don’t,” said Pepper taking her own and then nodding at a chair, which meant she wanted Bucky to sit in so that she had a voice of reason to appeal to once Tony started getting completely ridiculous. “We’re an international tech firm, not a chocolate company, or a florist or...I don’t know, a restaurant.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “This isn’t for the customers, it’s for the staff. Our lovely, hard-working, under-appreciated staff, who would love a chance to celebrate the holiday in-house-”

“By sexually harassing each other?” interrupted Pepper.

“Charming love notes are _not_ sexual harassment,” protested Tony.

Pepper pressed her lips together and then glanced at Bucky. He took his cue.

“There’s a fine line between romantic and creepy.”

Pepper turned to raise an eyebrow at Tony. “One that a certain kind of self-entitled middle management man is pretty fuzzy on,” she added.

Tony sighed and rolled his eyes to the ceiling. “Fine. Fine! We’ll have someone vetting the notes. Someone who can weed out the creepy from the romantic. And we’ll include strict guidelines.”

“Who the hell is going to spend all Valentine’s Day reading their co-workers love lett-” started Pepper, then blinked and looked at Bucky.

Oh no. “Someone without anything else to do during the work day?” he suggested, with some desperation. “Someone from the mailroom? Or a project that’s at a slow point? Or-”

“Or,” said Tony, grinning at him in a vaguely terrifying way, “the guy with the murder eyes who everyone’s terrified of. Yes, Pepper, it’s perfect. No one’s going to send anything that’s over the line if they know Barnes here is going to read it, because half of them are convinced he’s one bad day away from a rampage anyway.”

“I don’t have murder eyes,” protested Bucky, probably a bit weakly. He found himself glaring at people more often than not, just because most of them were such idiots and the rest of them assumed being the CEO’s PA’s assistant meant that he was everybody’s bitch. Plus, he wasn’t that keen on having people close to him, either physically or emotionally.

They both ignored him.

“C’mon, Pep,” said Tony, softly. “It’s for charity. And the guy said he had his own Cupid costume already.”

Wait, what? What the fuck had Bucky been dropped into now? He looked at Pepper, hoping for a reprieve, but she was already softening under Tony’s earnest I-just-want-to-make-people-happy look. Fuck.

“Very well,” said Pepper. “On the proviso that James vets everything sent, we include strict guidelines and highlight that feelings of friendship and respect for your colleagues are also welcome, perhaps even prefered, we can do this ridiculous thing. And I’ll give up my assistant for the day if you promise, and I mean this Tony, absolutely not to send me a single note.”

Tony gaped and clasped at his heart as if struck down, but Bucky wasn’t paying attention to his theatrics. He put his head in his hand and groaned.

****

“I need to quit my job!” Bucky announced when he got back into the apartment that evening, slamming the door behind himself.

“You’re not gonna quit,” said Steve from where he was sat on the sofa drawing something. “You got a free prosthetic out of it and you’re way too loyal to quit.”

Just because that was true didn’t mean Bucky had to admit it. He glared at him, self-consciously clenching the hand of his cutting edge, Starktech bionic arm.

“Please tell me this outburst means there’s a Tony-Stark-is-a-demented-genius story coming,” said Sam, leaning out of the kitchen.

Bucky glowered at him. “There’s nothing genius about it,” he said, heading over to flop into a chair. “He’s hired a guy to dress as Cupid for Valentine’s Day.”

“Oh man, you have to get photos,” said Steve, flipping his sketchbook shut. “I swear, your job just sounds more like something from a sitcom every day.”

“It gets worse,” said Bucky. “This guy is apparently an actual archer, so Tony’s set this thing up where people pay ten bucks, then they can write a short note of love, or friendship or respect or whatever, and this guy will wrap it around an arrow and fire it at the recipient’s desk.”

“Oh my god,” said Sam. “You are going to have so many lawsuits!”

“That’s exactly what Pepper said.”

“How the hell did Tony talk her into going ahead with this?” asked Steve.

Bucky slumped further into the chair. “Well, okay, so first of all apparently he’s a genius archer and never misses, and is going to be using, like, sticky arrows or something, so there’s no risk of someone getting skewered.”

“Okay,” said Sam, slowly. “And second of all?”

Bucky looked up at the ceiling. “I have to read and vet all the notes to make sure there’s no sexual harassment.”

There was a pause, then both Steve and Sam burst into cackles of laughter. Bucky sighed. He fucking hated his roommates. And his job. And Valentine’s Day.

“Wait, wait, hang on,” said Steve, once they’d finally stopped laughing. “But what if someone sends a note to you? Aren’t they meant to be anonymous?”

“Who the fuck is going to send me a love note?” asked Bucky.

“The hot mailroom guy,” said both Sam and Steve at the same time which, fuck them both, why the hell did Bucky ever tell them anything?

“No way,” said Bucky. The hot mailroom guy had never given any indication that he thought of Bucky as anything other than the person he handed Tony and Pepper’s mail to every morning. Or even that he wasn’t straight. Okay, sure, he gave Bucky that dazzling grin when he saw him but given how damn cheerful he always seemed to be, he probably gave that everyone.

Bucky had spent the first three months he’d worked at Stark Industries just staring blankly at how good-looking he was and doing his best not to swallow his own tongue. It was probably a good thing that he had a reputation for being silent and kinda rude, or hot mailroom guy might have taken it personally. As it was, he didn’t bother saying more than ‘Good morning!’ to Bucky these days.

“Maybe you should be sending him one,” said Sam.

“Nope,” said Bucky. “Can’t. Who would vet it for me? I’ll tell you what though, Steve, if you want to give me ten bucks, I’ll send one to Tony on your behalf.”

Steve’s crush on Tony had been legendary even before Bucky started working for him, back when Tony Stark was just a guy they only knew from magazines and TV. The handful of times Bucky had managed to contrive getting them to run into each other had only made things worse, especially as the last time, he’d definitely caught Tony checking out Steve’s ass.

Despite all that, Steve was still denying his crush even while sketching Tony’s face in half his sketchbooks. ‘He’s just got interesting features’ was beginning to wear very thin. 

“No thanks, I’m sure he’ll have enough people hassling him,” said Steve.

“Who knew that sharing an apartment with you guys would basically be like living in a Nancy Meyers movie?” said Sam, turning to go back into the kitchen. 

“What the fuck would you know about Nancy Meyers movies?” Bucky called after him.

“Being asexual doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy heart-warming feel-good shit, you know,” Sam called back. “Or do you not want me to cook you dinner tonight?”

Sam was by far the best cook out of the three of them. “Nope, all fine, you do you, watch whatever heart-warming shit you want,” said Bucky quickly.

“Damn straight,” said Sam.

****

Bucky got into the office early on February 14th, wearing all black and a scowl like thunder, just in case anyone thought twice about approaching him. When he got into the morning meeting, Tony was lounging back in his chair, tossing a pen from hand to hand, and explaining to Pepper how completely redesigning the casing for the Starkpad II, which was due out next month, was the only way he’d be able to put his name on it. Pepper’s eye was twitching slightly.

“-see, then we can shift the graphics chip round to the right, which gives us space to up the memory by, like-”

“This all sounds great, Tony,” interrupted Pepper. “Why don’t you use it for the Starkpad III?”

Tony rolled his eyes and sat up. “Where’s your vision? Pepper, Pep, bestest PA in all the land, just think of -”

“I don’t have time to think of anything,” said Pepper. “We’ve just signed off on the marketing, we are not changing the design.”

“If you’re busy, I could take some of your workload,” offered Bucky, seeing his chance. “I don’t have anything on today that can’t be pushed on to Peter.”

“Nice try,” said Pepper, “but there’s no way I’m letting the work experience kid look at whatever depraved and sordid messages the people of this company feel okay sending to each other. This is all on you.”

Bucky sighed. “I’m going to be billing you for my therapy, just so you know.”

“That’s fine, Tony can afford it,” said Pepper. “I’ve put everything on your desk, and Clint’s going to meet you there in-” she glanced at the clock, “well, now, pretty much.”

Bucky felt himself freeze. “Clint?” he repeated, carefully.

“Cupid,” said Tony. “Get a photo of him in costume for the newsletter, yeah?”

“Right,” said Bucky. “Okay. I’ll just- I’ll get on that.”

He was trying very hard not to hyperventilate. There was no way it would be the same Clint, he was totally safe, what were the chances that the one Clint Bucky knew of in the company would be an archer with a Cupid costume, who even-

He walked out of Tony’s office into the lobby where his desk was and stopped dead. Oh god. It was.

Hot mailroom guy turned around and gave him a grin. “Hi! I guess you’re going to be running this Cupid-O-Gram thing with me today?”

He was already in costume, which was apparently knee-high sandals, purple booty shorts, a pair of white wings attached with leather straps crossing over his chest, archery gauntlets, a bow and quiver and nothing else. Nothing but acres of skin and muscles.

There was no way on earth Bucky was going to survive this day. Holy shit, he’d thought Clint was hot in the uniform polo shirt that the mailroom guys wore, but he’d had no idea. The guy was fucking ripped, biceps and abs and, Jesus, a trail of golden hair leading down from his belly button to the top of his shorts.

“Morning,” he managed through a dry mouth and then, because he was an idiot, “Why are the shorts purple?”

“Well, mostly because these are the shorts I own, but also because purple is the best damn colour,” said Clint, glancing down at them, which drew Bucky’s gaze down and, nope, he needed to get behind his desk and stop staring right now. “I bet Cupid would agree with me.”

Bucky got the desk between himself and Clint and sat down. “I suppose it’s better than a diaper,” he managed. Fuck. How was he going to spend the whole day talking to this guy without making an idiot of himself?

Pepper had left a copy of the memo they’d sent out to the company about Cupid-O-Gram on his desk, along with the guidelines. He forced himself to stare down at it so that he could pull himself back together.

“Okay, how are we doing this, then?” asked Clint. “You’re vetting and printing the notes off, right? I guess I’ll just come back whenever my quiver gets empty and top up with what you’ve got. Have we got any already?”

Right, just focus on the task at hand. Good plan. The website Tony had thrown together at some godawful hour of the morning as a portal for Cupid-O-Gram was open on Bucky’s desktop already. There were a handful of messages already showing and as he looked another one popped up.

So apparently this was going to actually be popular. He’d been hoping it would just flop so that he could get on with something else.

“There’s a few,” he said. “Give me a minute to check they’re not violating the standards or whatever, and I’ll print them.” Oh god, but, “First though, Tony wants a photo of you for the newsletter.”

Clint grinned. “Awesome, I can do that.” He pulled an arrow from the quiver and notched it in a smooth movement that made the muscles of his shoulders ripple, then drew back and posed as if about to fire. “How’s that?”

It was fucking spectacular. Bucky had to bite his tongue to stop himself whimpering.

He took the photos on his phone. Not so that he’d have a permanent record, nope, definitely not so that he could look at them later in the privacy of his bedroom, and maybe cry a little over his fucking life, but just because that was the nearest camera and he needed this done as soon as possible.

Except, of course, his hands were shaking so he had to take several, and Clint’s grin just kept getting wider, and there had to be some way that Bucky could claim to be sick so that he could go home.

He hid back behind his computer as soon as he was done. “Give me ten minutes.”

“Sure,” said Clint. “I’m gonna get coffee. You want one?”

Bucky held up the mug he already had in answer and Clint, mercifully, left.

Bucky tipped his head forward to rest on his desk. Oh god, he was so fucked. There was no way he was getting out of this day without giving away his epic crush. Shit, he was going to be the one getting a sexual harassment suit.

He forwarded the photo on his phone to the guy who put the company newsletter together, CCing in Tony. And then, because he wasn’t going to get through today without flailing at someone, pulled up the group chat he had with Sam and Steve.

 **Bucky:** _Red Alert, I need one of you to fake a massive family emergency so that I can escape work immediately._  
**Bucky:** _Hot mailroom guy is the one being Cupid, and he’s fucking shirtless. And in tiny shorts. I have to get out of here._

He sent the photo as well, so that they could share his pain, then tucked away his phone and actually started looking through the Cupid-O-Gram messages. He ran through them fairly quickly before printing them out and was cutting them up when Clint came back, clutching a mug.

“Oh, cool,” he said when he saw the notes. “Let me-” He unslung the quiver from his shoulder and started attaching the notes to the arrows. Which of course meant that he had to sit on the corner of Bucky’s desk to do it and goddamn, unfair, why was he so close?

“So, should we be keeping a tally on who gets the most?” asked Clint. “Or even placing bets? Karen from accounts, maybe?”

“My friend thinks it’ll be Tony,” said Bucky, keeping his eyes on what he was doing and forcing himself to sound as normal as he could. “People taking advantage of the anonymity to harass the billionaire.”

Tony wasn’t going to be the one walking around looking like a goddamn wet dream, though. Bucky wondered what he was meant to do if he got any Valentine messages for Clint. Handcraft his own arrows out of pencils and just throw them at him?

“I don’t know that that many people here have a thing for Tony,” said Clint. “I mean, he’s rich and hot, but we all work for him so we know that he’s kinda crazycakes. My money’s on Pepper.”

Bucky considered that. “She’ll hate that.”

“Yeah,” said Clint. “Maybe we should have included some kind of opt-out thing?”

“I think it’s already more than complicated enough,” said Bucky, finishing the last note and handing it to Clint. “It’s gonna be taking up my entire day. And yours.”

Clint shrugged as he slotted another arrow back in his quiver. “I’d just be delivering mail anyway. Same basic thing, right? Except this way I get to show off my epic archery skills.”

Not to mention his epic biceps, but Bucky figured he shouldn’t be mentioning that. He was going to at least make it to lunchtime before he got in trouble for sexually harassing Cupid.

Clint downed the last of his coffee and hopped back up, swinging his quiver over his shoulder, then hastily readjusting when it almost crushed a wing. “Okay, I’m off on my first flight. Wish me luck!”

“Good luck,” said Bucky. Clint actually saluted him before he headed out the door.

Bucky watched him go, taking in just how tightly those shorts hugged his ass. Holy shit, was he really going to be looking at that all day? Maybe this was actually going to be a great day. Just as long as he kept his grip and didn’t accidentally proposition the guy.

He pulled his phone back out to see that both Sam and Steve had responded already.

 **Steve:** _Lol._  
**Steve:** _Your job is an actual sitcom._  
**Sam:** _Or a porno. Jesus, who okayed that outfit?_  
**Sam:** _He’s pulling it off though, wow._  
**Steve:** _Yeah, I can see why you’ve been crushing on him now. Nice biceps._  
**Sam:** _Hey, if we’re doing photos of people’s crushes, have you got one of Tony for Steve?_  
**Bucky:** _Let me just ask my boss if he’s willing for me to take a shirtless pic for my roommate, hang on…_

Steve’s reply came through almost immediately.

 **Steve:** _I hate you both._

Bucky allowed himself a smile. At least he wasn’t the only one suffering.

****

When Clint came back, Bucky already had a stack of notes for him to take out and had moved over a chair for Clint to sit in while he put them on the arrows so that he wouldn’t sit on Bucky’s desk again. He needed to keep some distance between himself and Clint’s thighs.

“Okay, this is already my best day at work ever,” said Clint. “People are so much happier when you give them a love note than when you give them invoices and reports and memos that no one actually wants to read, whoda figured?”

He shrugged the quiver off and leaned the bow against Bucky’s desk, then dropped into the chair, lounging back and, Jesus, there was just so much skin.

“Aren’t you cold?” asked Bucky, with some desperation.

“Nah,” said Clint. “I guess the power of love is keeping me warm.” He put his hand over his heart and tipped Bucky a wink.

Fucking fantastic. Bucky took a very deep breath. Focus on the task in front of him, right. He handed over the stack of vetted messages. “This is the next lot.”

Clint started putting them on his arrows. “How many have you had to weed out so far?”

“Only a couple,” said Bucky. “One that was passive-aggressive, and one that made it clear that at least one person in this company doesn’t understand how to compliment a woman without being creepy as fuck.”

Clint snorted. “I’m willing to bet more than one. And, uh, did you get any?”

He sounded weirdly hesitant. Bucky wondered if there was some way to let him know that he didn’t have to make conversation just because they were working together. Most people in the company thought avoided Bucky because he was bad-tempered, and it wasn’t like he did much to discourage that. He knew that Pepper used him as a bit of a gatekeeper and his reputation helped with that. People only came to ask him if she had time for a meeting if they really needed one.

“I’m not gonna get any,” said Bucky. “I’m not exactly the kinda guy people are going to be crushing on.”

His phone buzzed and he picked it up.

 **Steve:** _I’ve decided this all sounds like too much fun to miss. I’m gonna bring you some lunch over._

Bucky’s blood ran cold. Oh fuck, no.

 **Bucky:** _No need, I already have a sandwich here._  
**Bucky:** _You must have work to do there. Important art things._  
**Bucky:** _And it’s not exciting, it’s basically just glorified mail delivery._  
**Steve:** _It’s not the mail I’m interested in, it’s the mailman. No, wait, it’s your reaction to the mailman. I bet I can make your ears go red in front of him._

Bucky was doomed. So doomed.

“Something exciting?” asked Clint.

Bucky shook his head. “Just a friend.”

 **Bucky:** _I will murder you in your sleep. This is not an idle threat._

“Making plans for tonight?” asked Clint. “Hot date?”

Bucky glanced up from the phone. “What? No, not- not that kind of friend. He’s my roommate.”

“Oh right,” said Clint. “You celebrating on the weekend, then?”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Not everyone celebrates, you know. I’m single, there’s no point.”

For some reason that made Clint smile. “Sure, yeah, okay. Me too. I mean, I’m not celebrating either, because I’m single. Well, not celebrating other than dressing up like Cupid, I guess that’s more than I’ve done most years.”

Bucky wasn’t entirely paying attention, because Sam had decided to pitch in on the group chat.

 **Sam:** _Ah, let Steve come down. You know he just wants to catch a glimpse of his crush for Valentine’s Day._  
**Sam:** _Did you put a message in for him?_  
**Steve:** _Tony is not my crush!_

 **Bucky:** _If he comes down, I definitely will._ sent Bucky, then glanced back up at Clint.

“Sorry, we’re teasing him about his crush. What were you saying?”

Clint laughed. “Oh no, that’s fine. Teasing friends about their crushes is, like, seventy-five percent of what this day is all about, right?” He stood up. “I should get going with this lot, anyway. See you in a bit.”

“See you,” said Bucky, and watched him leave, taking his opportunity to really enjoy looking while Clint had his back to him and couldn’t see the look on his face. There were two distinct dimples just above the waist of his shorts which Bucky really wanted to run his tongue over.

 **Steve:** _If you can tell me you’re taking your chance to chat up the hot mailroom guy, I might actually let you._  
**Steve:** _But I’m willing to bet twenty bucks that you’re just being rude and abrupt and missing every chance to actually talk to him._

Damn it, why did Steve have to know him so well?

Bucky stared at the computer screen for a moment, watching the ridiculous Valentine’s messages roll in. All those people taking a chance to say something nice to someone they cared about.

Fuck it.

 **Bucky:** _Time for a deal then. I’ll talk to Clint if you’ll talk to Tony._

It took several minutes before Steve replied.

 **Steve:** _How are we judging talking?_

Sam replied while Bucky was still thinking about it.

 **Sam:** _I’ll be judge. Bucky needs to find out at least three facts about Clint’s life outside of work, and tell him at least three facts about his own. But without interrogation or blabbing out random facts. They need to come up organically in the conversation._

That seemed easy enough. Bucky had all day for it, after all.

 **Bucky:** _Agreed. And then Steve has to come along, and sit next to Tony, the next time Tony decides to take everyone in the office to a bar._

Tony randomly dragged everyone who worked on the top floor out for drinks about once a month. Pepper had long since stopped trying to prevent it.

 **Steve:** _Fine. Agreed._

Excellent. Good. Now all Bucky had to do was remember how to make friendly conversation with someone incredibly hot that he didn’t know particularly well.

Fuck.

****

Clint’s return was heralded by an arrow landing in the centre of Bucky’s desk, making him start back with surprise.

“Jumpy,” remarked Clint, laughing as he sauntered in. Bucky felt like, in a just world, he’d be getting used to the outfit but, nope, he still had a heart-stopping moment of _so goddamn hot_ when he saw him.

“You’re aiming a weapon at me, I think it’s allowed,” said Bucky, pulling the arrow off the desk and then noticing it had a note on it. He glanced up at Clint. “Is this for me?”

“Yup,” said Clint.

Shit. Bucky had been really, really hoping not to get anything. “You’re not meant to be sending anything I haven’t vetted,” he said half-heartedly as he pulled the note off.

“Pepper looked it over,” said Clint. “Apparently, there’s someone here who doesn’t think you shouldn’t get anything just because you’re organising this.”

 _Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears,_ read the note.

“Oh Jesus,” muttered Bucky.

“Not good?” asked Clint, sitting down.

“Cheesy chat-up line,” said Bucky, tucking the note under his keyboard to think about later. “Not the cheesiest someone’s been sent today though, so I guess I should be grateful.”

“Do I want to ask?” said Clint.

Bucky shook his head. “Probably not. Besides, I shouldn’t really spread around what people are getting, seems kinda private.”

“Yeah, true,” said Clint, but his shoulders slumped a bit, and Bucky realised he’d accidentally used the tone he kept for when he wanted to shut down a conversation.

Clint reached for the stack of vetted notes and started putting them on arrows as Bucky desperately racked his brains for something to say to keep it going. Something that would get him a fact for his bet with Steve.

“How is everyone else taking to having arrows shot at them?” he asked, handing back the one Clint had shot at him.

“Not so bad,” said Clint. “I mean, I’m mostly making sure they can see me before I fire and then hitting their bulletin board or whatever, so they don’t feel in danger.”

“So it’s just me you want to threaten,” said Bucky.

Clint grinned at him. “Seemed like you could take it. You know, being the big bad wolf and all.”

Bucky blinked at him. “The what?”

Clint froze, panic taking over his face. “Oh shit, did you not know about that? That’s, uh, kinda your nickname. You know, because you glare a lot and snap at people and, wow, I really thought you knew, I am so sorry, I swear I’ve never called you that, well, not more than once or twice anyway, shit.”

Bucky considered that for a moment. He’d never stopped to think he might have a work nickname. It was actually kinda badass.

“I guess it’s not any worse than Bucky,” he said, and it was Clint’s turn to frown at him. “That’s what everyone calls me. Well, everyone outside of work.” He’d never bothered using his nickname at work because he’d never really felt close enough to people to act that friendly. Which was probably why everyone thought he was a fairytale villain.

“Bucky,” repeated Clint. “Do I even want to ask?”

“My middle name is Buchanan,” explained Bucky. “Not as exciting as it could be, I guess.”

Clint gave him a careful look, tipping his head to one side. “I can kinda see it,” he said. “I mean, you never really looked like a James to me.”

“Or a wolf?” suggested Bucky, twitching an eyebrow.

“No comment,” said Clint.

“So,” said Bucky, seeing his chance to get a fact out of him, “do you have any nicknames? I mean, I’m guessing the whole company is going to be calling you Cupid from now on, but apart from that.”

“Ah,” said Clint, slowly, “it’s not really a nickname, but my stage name used to be Hawkeye.”

“Stage name?”

“In the circus,” said Clint. “What, you thought I got this good at shooting arrows just from hanging out at a range?”

Bucky hadn’t even stopped to consider it. Probably because he’d had all his concentration on trying to tell himself it wasn’t insanely hot.

“I guess that explains the outfit.”

Clint laughed. “You’d think, but nope. This is actually from Pride last year. My circus outfits were way more family friendly.”

If Clint had been at Pride, then he was probably gay. Holy shit, Bucky might actually be in with a chance.

Yeah, no way. Clint thought he was the big bad wolf, right? No one wanted a date with the guy at work that everyone was scared of. Well, except whichever idiot had sent Bucky a Valentine, but who knew what that was about? It was probably some kind of dare.

Maybe Bucky could get Clint to see him differently? How did he do that? How did you flirt with someone at work without it becoming sexual harassment? Shit, should he even be considering this given that they were co-workers? Except they didn’t really work together, not when Clint was right down in the mailroom and Bucky was on the top floor.

Did he need to ask HR if it was okay? Would Pepper laugh at him if he did?

It was only after he’d been staring blankly while his mind worked overtime for several minutes that he realised the atmosphere had got awkward, and Clint was grimacing down at the arrow he was attaching a note to. Shit, shit, he’d implied he was gay and Bucky had shut down on him, he probably thought he was a homophobe, how was Bucky doing so badly at this? This was why he just stayed home with Steve and Sam pretending he didn’t want to go out with anyone anyway.

“Sorry,” he said. “Sorry, just- I was at Pride last year, I was trying to work out if I’d seen you there. Seems like I wouldn’t have missed you dressed like that, but- Well. It probably didn’t stand out that much given some of the other outfits.”

Clint relaxed and laughed, and Bucky immediately felt better. He could do this, he could. He could make this guy not-hate him, even if he couldn’t get him to go out with him.

“That’s true. I was on one of the floats but everyone else was wearing the same or less so I guess I just blended in.”

Bucky found that very hard to believe. There was no way that the peak of human perfection sitting in front of him could blend in anywhere.

“Okay,” said Clint, tucking the last arrow in his quiver and standing up. “Last run before lunch, I think.”

Bucky nodded, glancing at his computer screen to see how they were doing at keeping on top of the messages. “It’s slowed up a bit, maybe the novelty is wearing off?”

“Maybe people have remembered they have actual work to do,” said Clint, heading for the door.

“Actual work,” said Bucky, thinking about what he would be doing right now if he hadn’t had this dumped in his lap. “That sounds good to me right now, as I read through yet another saccharine message filled with sickly-sweet and entirely unrealistic claims.”

“You poor guy,” said Clint, mockingly. He turned in the doorway and Bucky realised, too late, that he had an arrow already notched, which he sent thudding into Bucky’s desk. “Did I mention I had a second one for you?”

“Oh, fucking hell,” muttered Bucky, but Clint was already gone.

He opened up the note.

_I’d like to follow you home, because I was always taught to follow my dreams._

Bucky had no idea what to do with that one either, so he just slid it under his keyboard with the first and pulled out his phone.

 **Bucky:** _I already have two facts! I am totally winning this thing._  
**Bucky:** _He used to have an archery act at a circus, and he was on a float at Pride last year, dressed as Cupid._  
**Bucky:** _And I told him about being called Bucky, and why, and that I was at Pride last year as well._  
**Steve:** _Oh, come on, telling him the name that literally everyone calls you doesn’t count, surely? That’s not an in-depth fact about your life._  
**Sam:** _He has a point. That one doesn’t count, but the judge rules the other ones valid facts._  
**Sam:** _Wait, he was at Pride? So he’s gay? Dude, Bucky, my man, my bro. You have got to tap that._  
**Bucky:** _Still absolutely no indication that he is interested in me tapping that. Almost the opposite, in fact. Apparently my work nickname is the big bad wolf._  
**Steve:** _Oh wow, seriously? That’s excellent, I’m definitely using that to ask for you when I come for lunch._  
**Bucky:** _I thought we agreed you weren’t coming._  
**Steve:** _Yeah, not a chance. What’s the point of being freelance unless it’s to drop everything to come check out your best friend’s Cupid?_  
**Bucky:** _I hate you so much._

He was distracted from finding ways to stop Steve by Tony wandering out of his office. “Hey, how’s it going? Is Cupid a hit?”

“Seems to be,” said Bucky, glancing back at the website. “We’ve made quite a bit for charity.”

“Yeah?” asked Tony, coming over to look. “Aw no, c’mon, we can do better. Tell you what, how about I offer to match the total amount raised? Think that will encourage people? Or, wait I could send messages to everyone. Something about how much I appreciate their hard work and, nope, too dull, how about ‘Happy Valentine’s, the company loves you’, or-”

“No,” said Pepper, coming out of her office, presumably summoned by her innate sixth sense that told her whenever Tony was about to do something ridiculous. “No one wants creepy messages from their CEO.”

Tony deflated. “C’mon, Pep, we could-”

“No,” she said again, then turned a sharp smile on Bucky. “You are under no circumstances allowed to let any messages from Tony go through unless I’ve seen them first.”

Bucky nodded. “Understood.”

“You spoil all my fun,” said Tony, sadly.

“I let you dress one of your employees up as a walking sex crime and shoot projectile weapons at the rest of your staff,” she pointed out.

Bucky choked at ‘walking sex crime’ because thank fuck he hadn’t been the only one to notice, and then desperately tried to hide his reaction as both Pepper and Tony turned to look at him. He wasn’t entirely successful.

“Have you got an opinion on our walking sex crime?” asked Tony, cracking his face into a grin.

“Nope,” said Bucky, turning back to his computer screen. “I’m just sitting here, getting on with the very important and company-critical task that you’ve assigned me today.”

“Tony, leave him alone,” said Pepper. “Come in here and explain your notes on the budget report, would you? Your handwriting is terrible.”

Tony rolled his eyes but dutifully followed her back into her office. Bucky let out a sigh of relief.

Which, naturally, was when another arrow landed on the desk in front of him. He looked up to see Clint giving him a salute from the doorway. “Just passing through!” he said, and then left again.

Fuck, how many messages was Bucky going to get today? He’d thought he was immune!

_Stark Industries must be a museum because you are a work of art._

Jesus, they were getting worse.

****

Steve arrived before Clint came back, with bagels from Bucky’s favourite deli and a massive, shit-eating grin.

“I told you not to come,” grumbled Bucky, taking a bagel from him with as little gratitude as he could manage.

“Yeah, that wasn’t happening,” said Steve cheerfully, sitting down with his own bagel. “I mean, I’ve got to get my office politics from somewhere, right?”

“How come you never go bother Sam at work then?” asked Bucky.

“Because this is way more exciting than the VA,” said Steve. “No way they’d have actual Cupid running around.”

“Probably a good thing,” said Bucky. “I’m not sure shooting arrows at a bunch of vets with PTSD is a solid idea.”

“How are you taking it?” asked Steve, giving Bucky the concerned look that he thought he’d escaped now that they were several years out from him being invalided out of the Army.

He rolled his eyes. “An arrow is hardly an IED,” he said. “It’s fine.”

Which, naturally, was when another one landed in front of him. He groaned and looked over at where Clint was posed in the doorway. “Please tell me that’s the last one.”

Clint shrugged as he sauntered over. “It’s the last one I’ve got for now. Who knows if you’re going to get more later on?”

Bucky unrolled the note as Steve held his hand out to Clint. “Hi, I’m Steve. You must be Cupid.”

Clint laughed as he shook Steve’s hand. “What gave it away?”

_There must be something wrong with my eyes because I can’t take them off you._

“Oh god,” muttered Bucky.

“You didn’t say you’d got any Valentine’s,” said Steve. 

Bucky took one look at his expression, then sighed and pulled out the stack of notes to pass to him. Some battles just weren’t worth fighting. “Someone’s going through all the very worst pick up lines they can think of. I’m pretty sure it’s a joke or a dare or something.”

“What makes you think that?” asked Clint, pulling his quiver off and setting it against the wall along with his bow. He stretched his arms up above his head then rolled his shoulders out and Bucky lost track of every thought in his head. Holy shit, _muscles_.

He didn’t realise there was an awkward pause until Steve filled it. “Our poor Bucky is cursed by low self-esteem.”

Bucky cleared his throat and tore his eyes away from Clint’s shoulders. “It’s not low self-esteem, it’s realism. You said yourself that everyone here is scared of me.”

“That doesn’t mean no one thinks you’re hot,” said Clint with a shrug. “You’ve got that glowering, dark kind of handsome going for you.”

Bucky stared at him. Clint thought he was handsome? Or did he just think that other people might think he was handsome? Steve kicked at Bucky’s ankle and he realised he’d gone blank again. 

“Even if that’s true, this is kind of a lot of notes,” said Steve, giving Bucky a chance to pull himself back together. “I mean, they’re paying per note, right?”

“Ten bucks a time,” agreed Bucky.

“So, it’s either someone that can just drop a bundle of cash on a joke without thinking about it, or someone who thinks you’re worth forty bucks,” said Steve. “Possibly more, I mean, we’re only halfway through the day.” His eyes widened with realisation. “Oh man, do you know who has a lot of money and thinks this kinda thing is funny?”

It took Bucky a moment to follow his leap. “Oh no, no way, there’s no way Tony would be doing this. If he was going to fuck with anyone, it would be Pepper.”

“Pepper would immediately know it was him and castrate him,” said Clint, kneeling down to go through the bag he’d left by Bucky’s desk and pull out a bag lunch. “You don’t mind me joining you?” he asked.

“Nope,” said Steve, before Bucky could say anything. “Pull up a chair.”

Clint grabbed one of the chairs in the waiting area outside while Bucky glared at Steve. Steve just grinned at him. Right, that was it, Bucky was definitely dropping him in it with Tony somehow.

“If it were Tony, he’d have sent way more than four,” said Bucky. “I’d probably be drowning in them right now.”

“Maybe someone feels strongly about the charity and just wants an excuse to donate?” suggested Clint.

“What’s the charity?” asked Steve.

Bucky hadn’t actually paid much attention. He glanced at the memo he still had lying on his desk. “Some deaf kids thing.”

“Right,” said Steve, frowning.

“It’s the American Society for Deaf Children,” said Clint. “They do good work. I picked them.” He gave a diffident shrug. “I figured, if I was gonna dress like an idiot in front of my co-workers, it should at least be for a good cause, right?”

“You don’t look like an idiot,” protested Bucky, without stopping to think about it. 

Clint grinned at him. “Yeah? What do I look like?” He spread his arms as if to put himself on display, like Bucky hadn’t spent the whole morning staring at him.

Fuck. “Like a guy who should be on a float at Pride,” he managed.

Steve laughed. “Says the guy who wore jeans and long sleeves to Pride.”

Seriously, Bucky was going to kill him.

“How the hell didn’t you melt?” asked Clint. “It was fucking hot.”

Bucky just sort of shrugged at him, because he didn’t want to get into the reasons why he always wore long sleeves. As grateful as he was for his prosthetic, he hated putting it on display.

“Hey! It’s the sexy roommate!” said Tony, coming out of Pepper’s office. Bucky had never been so relieved to see him. “Are you here to check out our Cupid? See if he’s got an arrow for you?”

Bucky replied for Steve before he could open his mouth. “I don’t think it’s Cupid he’s here to check out,” he said and earned himself a glare. Served the guy right for coming in just to mock Bucky over having the world’s hottest Cupid casually hanging out all day.

“Yeah?” said Tony, giving Steve a look of great interest that confirmed Bucky’s suspicion that he fancied Steve. “Have you got a thing for one of my employees? Not sure I should be allowing you to come by just to ogle them, might be some kinda harassment.”

“And you’d know all about harassment,” said Steve.

“I’ll have you know my last harassment suit was ten years ago, and was thrown out of court,” said Tony. “I’ve been a good boy.” He waggled his eyebrows at Steve.

“Oh sure, I bet that’s exactly what Pepper would say,” said Clint.

“Quiet you,” said Tony, jabbing a finger at him. “No sassing the big boss, you might find yourself out of a job.”

Clint just laughed. “Yeah, like Pepper lets you make hiring and firing decisions.”

“Okay, where did this idea that I’m completely under Pepper’s thumb come from?” asked Tony. “I was running this company long before she came to work here, you know, and it’s my name on the big sign out front.”

“It is a very big sign,” agreed Steve. “Some might say too big. Like you were over-compensating for something.”

“Hah, joke’s on you, my dad put that sign up,” said Tony.

“So, your dad was over-comp-” started Bucky, but Tony didn’t let him finish.

“Speculation about the size of my dad’s penis is a sackable offence,” he said quickly, and Bucky shut his mouth but gave him a smirk.

Steve had turned in his chair so that he was facing Tony. “You know, if these are the kind of draconian rules you big corporations put into place, I think I’m glad I’m freelance.”

“So that you can spend all day speculating about Stark cocks?” asked Tony with a wink.

Steve rolled his eyes. “Are you actively looking for a sexual harassment case now?”

Tony held his hands up defensively. “Hey, you’re the one that started this with unfounded claims of over-compensation. I mean, there are at least three sexvids of me out there, I think my credentials are pretty widely known on that one.”

Clint groaned. “Please, Tony, for the love of God, shut up already.”

Tony considered that. “No can do I’m afraid. How’s the cupiding going, anyway? Have you set hearts a-flutter all over the building? Has love conquered all foes?”

Clint shrugged. “We haven’t had any complaints.” He glanced at Bucky. “Right?”

“Not yet,” said Bucky. “I’m still waiting for someone to point out that you’re dressed for fetish porn, but I guess that’s just the kinda thing people expect when they work for Tony Stark.”

He was a little worried after he said it that Clint was going to take it wrong, but instead he cracked up, throwing his head back and laughing with his whole body. It was completely mesmerising.

“O-kay, I see it, I’m getting the vibe,” said Tony, and Bucky whipped his head around to see him giving him a too-knowing look. He glared at him, willing him to just keep his mouth shut for once in his life. “This is some kind of anti-Stark meeting. That’s fine, I guess, you’re on lunch and I can’t dictate to you, but just remember who decides your bonuses.”

“HR does,” said Bucky.

“We should send them some notes,” said Clint. “ _Roses are red, they have a nice scent, fifty sounds like the right percent._ ”

Bucky snapped his fingers at him. “Perfect.”

“I’m starting to worry you’re going to lose your job and I’ll have to pay your rent,” said Steve.

“I know too many of Tony’s secrets to lose my job,” said Bucky, then gave Tony his very best slow, evil smile when he opened his mouth to protest. “The thing in Tulpa, for instance.”

Tony swallowed his words, backing away. “Okay, going to my office to just, you know, be a great boss and do nice things for you and be worthy of you keeping that secret.”

“What happened in Tulpa?” asked Clint with interest once Tony’s office door was shut.

Bucky gave him a serious look. “I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”

Clint tipped his head to one side. “You know, something about your face makes me absolutely believe that.”

“Well, I am the big bad wolf, right?” said Bucky, trying out an evil smirk. Clint blinked and the wrapping from his lunch crumpled in his hand.

Steve snorted. “That would be more convincing if I didn’t know you learnt that expression off my mom.”

Damn Steve, and his knowledge of all Bucky’s tricks.

“Nothing quite like chatting about Stark penises to make for a great lunch hour, right?” said Clint.

“I’m thinking I might have to go home to recover,” said Bucky. “Hey, Steve, you could fill in for me, right? ”

“Nope,” said Steve. “I’ve got a logo to design for a travel agent that needs to somehow be fresh, stylish _and_ classic.” He crumpled up his rubbish and tucked it into Bucky’s bin. “I’ll see you at home later, yeah?”

“Wait,” said Clint, slowly. “Is this the roommate that you were teasing over his crush earlier?” he asked Bucky.

“Yep,” said Bucky, realising belatedly he hadn’t bothered to introduce them. “This is Steve, I’ve known him for way too long.”

“Hi,” said Clint to Steve. “I’m Clint, I deliver mail and dress as Cupid. So, this crush...it’s on Tony, right?”

Bucky started to laugh as Steve flushed and then glared at Bucky. “What have you been telling him?”

“Nothing,” said Bucky. “Just, you know when I told you it was obvious just from five minutes in the same room as the two of you?”

“I don’t have a crush on Tony Stark,” hissed Steve.

“Bullshit,” said Clint. “You do realise he likes you back, right? I’ve known him ages; my BFF is friends with Pepper so we’ve hung out a lot, since years before I worked here. I know all the signs when he likes someone.”

Steve stilled, and then Bucky saw the distinctive Rogers jaw clench, which meant he was about to be stubborn about something. “No he doesn’t. And,” he added, “there’s no ‘back’, I don’t have a crush.”

“Yeah, that one’s starting to wear thin,” said Bucky. Steve turned his stern-eyed glare on him. It didn’t work on Bucky the same way it did on other people, mostly because he remembered when Steve was tiny and making the same expression. “Oh fine, live in denial,” he said. “Just remember, I’m gonna win this bet, and then you’ll have to admit it.”

“What bet?” asked Clint.

Shit, shit, Bucky really shouldn’t have mentioned that in front of him. “Nothing.”

Clint raised his eyebrows, but Steve came to the rescue before he could ask any follow up questions. “Okay, I do actually need to go do some work. I’ll see you later, Bucky. It was good to meet you, Clint.”

“You too,” said Clint. “Good luck with Tony.”

Steve huffed a sigh. “I don’t have a crush on Tony,” he muttered as he left.

Clint looked at Bucky. “Does he actually believe that?”

“Nah,” said Bucky. “I think he’s just hoping one day we will, which is stupid.”

“A true friend would never lets go of something that good for mocking him over,” agreed Clint. He was finishing the last of his lunch and Bucky realised he didn’t want him to leave to go deliver some more messages. It was one thing to admire a guy’s impressive physique, another entirely to get chatting to him and realise he was funny and just as willing to give Steve and Tony shit.

He cast around for a topic that might keep Clint in place a bit longer. “So, deaf kids? Is there a reason for that? Do you know someone involved?”

“Not really,” said Clint, then shrugged. “I was a deaf kid, and they helped me out a bit back then.”

Bucky’s gaze darted to his ears, but there was nothing to show he had any problems.

“I was deaf for just under five years, then my ears recovered,” said Clint. “Well, sort of recovered. They’re a bit dodgy, I get a lot of ear infections which knock them out. The doctors reckon I’ll end up deaf again at some point but,” he shrugged as if that was no big deal. “When I was a kid I thought it would be my whole life, so every year I get with my hearing feels like a bonus, you know?”

Bucky didn’t know what to say to that. He tried to work out how he’d feel if he got his arm back for a bit, but could lose it at any moment. When he’d first got the prosthetic, Tony had been very clear that it was highly experimental and might have to be taken off if it went wrong but after a few years, Bucky was pretty sure that wasn’t going to happen.

And even if it did, he knew Tony would do some kind of tech magic and sort it out, or make him a new one that was even better.

“If it did start to go, Tony would make you hearing aids,” he said. “And they’d be fucking incredible.” He held up his metal hand and wiggled his fingers. “He made three massive breakthroughs to build this, and then refused to let me pay a cent towards it.”

Clint gave it an interested look and Bucky had to shove down the rush of self-consciousness. He hated people looking at his arm . “It is really fancy. I’m a little surprised he refrained from painting it red or giving it a gold finish or something.”

Bucky snorted. “He wanted to put the Stark Industries logo on the shoulder, but Pepper told him that branding his employees was the start of a dystopian nightmare and she didn’t have time for that.”

“God bless Pepper and her voice of reason,” said Clint. He put his lunch away and then went to grab his quiver. “Okay, let’s do this thing. Which ones are the vetted ones?”

Bucky slid over the stack of notes and checked on the screen. A lot more had come in while they’d been eating. “Oh great, everyone decided to express affection on their lunch break.”

“Assholes,” said Clint. “Why can’t they all just be filled with rage and hatred, like you?”

Bucky didn’t bother denying it. “Exactly,” he muttered.

Once Clint had gone, Bucky checked his phone.

 **Steve:** _I like him. You should definitely ask him out._  
**Steve:** _I’m pretty sure he’d say yes._  
**Sam:** _You’ve met the elusive Hot Mailroom Guy? I’m so jealous._  
**Sam:** _My life will be empty and meaningless until I meet him too_  
**Steve:** _He mocked Tony. I approve. He also managed to make Bucky laugh a couple of times._  
**Sam:** _He made our grumpy little soldier laugh? Wow, this really is meant to be._  
**Steve:** _I can confirm that they were adorable together._  
**Steve:** _Seriously, Bucky, ask the guy out. What’s the worst that could happen?_

 **Bucky:** _I hate you both_ sent Bucky, which was a phrase he used so often it came straight up as a suggestion on his phone.  
**Bucky:** _I’m not asking him out, we work together and it would be awkward._  
**Bucky:** _I did get more facts, though. He was deaf as a kid, so that's three facts. And I told him about Stark making my arm, so I've just got to tell him one more fact and Steve will be the one going out with his crush._  
**Steve:** _Is it me, or are the facts you're giving him a lot less in depth than the ones he's giving you?_  
**Sam:** _Agreed. I'll let that one go but the last one has to be something that he couldn't just find out by asking around._

Bucky made a face at his phone. He hated the uncomfortable feeling of vulnerability that he got from telling someone something that dug a bit deeper than surface level. He'd have to find something though, he wasn't going to let Steve carry on silently pining for Tony. It was irritating as hell.

****

The afternoon passed far too quickly. Now that he’d started interacting with Clint rather than just glowering at him in an effort to hide his feelings, Bucky found that talking to him was almost as good as looking at him. Almost, because he was still in the Cupid outfit, and he could have sworn the shorts were actually getting tighter as the day went on.

He got more horribly cheesy Valentine’s notes, and they seemed to be getting more personal as the day wore on.

_They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Apparently, they haven’t been in an office with you._

_None of Stark’s technological marvels are anywhere close to as beautiful as your eyes. Even when you’re glaring._

_Roses are red, your hair is dark, I’d love to take you for a walk in the park._  
_Violets are blue, not much rhymes with James, you really are hotter than flames._

_You may be the big bad wolf, but I’m the one that wants to huff and puff and blow your mind._

“Jesus,” said Bucky weakly when he read the last one. He passed it over to Clint who ran his eyes over it. “And you say Pepper’s vetting these?”

“Yeah,” said Clint, handing it back. “I guess she thought that was reasonably ambiguous.”

“Ambiguous?” repeated Bucky. “You think someone here actually wants to blow my house down?”

“Nah, I reckon they want to blow you,” said Clint. He ran his eyes over Bucky in a way that made the back of his neck go hot. “I mean, they’re probably not the only one who wants that.”

Bucky cleared his throat to try and cover his reaction. Jesus, was he actually imagining blowing Bucky right now? A mental image of Clint on his knees in front of him, glancing up at Bucky with that grin before taking his cock in his mouth flashed through Bucky’s head and he had to firmly squash it down.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to break the rules and make you uncomfortable,” said Clint.

Bucky pulled himself together. “That’s okay, I won’t report you to Pepper, as long as you go get me a coffee.”

“I can definitely do that,” said Clint, throwing off a sloppy salute and heading out.

Bucky took a very deep breath once he was gone. Was Clint actually flirting with him? Was Steve actually right about this thing being mutual?

Shit, if it was then Bucky didn’t have an excuse not to ask him out for a drink. It had been a very long time since he’d gone on a date.

He pulled the notes he’d just printed off onto his desk. The first one was for Clint himself. Bucky cut it off and added it to the stack that had been steadily increasing all day, as more and more people noticed just how blindingly hot Cupid was. It seemed like if he didn’t ask Clint out, someone else probably would.

He really didn’t want that to happen, shit.

Tony wandered out of his office, glancing at Pepper’s shut door.

“She went down to Marketing for a meeting,” said Bucky.

Tony made a face. “The worst kind of meeting.” He wandered over to Bucky’s desk and started pawing through the stacks of paper on it in a way that Bucky recognised as him putting off saying something. He quietly kept on cutting the notes up, waiting for the dam to break.

“So, your friend Steve comes by fairly often,” Tony said eventually.

“He’s both single and gay,” said Bucky, then raised an eyebrow at Tony’s look. “What? I thought I’d cut through the bullshit.”

Tony huffed a breath of amusement. “Okay, fine. So, if I asked him out, you think he’d say yes?”

Bucky opened his mouth to say yes, then reconsidered. Steve could be a bit tricky. “I tell you what,” he said slowly. “How about you organise a trip to the bar after work and I’ll make sure he comes along?”

“Ah, I see your plan,” said Tony. “You’re trying to get a free drink out of me.”

“Steve’s a great guy,” said Bucky. “He’s worth way more than one free drink.”

Tony snorted. “Yeah, okay. Fine. FINE! I shall send out a memo that there’s going to be drinks tonight.” He pointed a finger at Bucky. “You just make sure he comes along.”

“I can do that,” said Bucky, thinking about how close he was to winning his bet with Steve and Sam.

Clint walked in carrying two mugs of coffee and Tony jabbed a finger at him. “And you should come as well,” he said. “But maybe wear something else so we don’t get arrested for indecent exposure.”

“There’s nothing indecent about my exposure,” said Clint.

Tony rolled his eyes and disappeared back into his office. Clint looked at Bucky. “Sorry, what’s happening?”

“We’re apparently going to the bar tonight,” said Bucky. “And you’re invited.”

Clint set his coffee down on the desk. “Ooh, the fabled top floor drinks? I’d be honoured. What a story I’ll have to tell my fellow mailroom minions when I go back down there tomorrow.”

“I’m not sure you should be referring to yourselves as _minions_ ,” said Bucky. “Underlings, maybe.”

“Oh, too kind of you, thanks,” said Clint. “Watch if any of your mail gets here on time from now on.”

“You should definitely feel free to just lose any more Cupid notes that you get through for me,” said Bucky.

“Ah, come on, you must be enjoying the cheesy flirting,” said Clint. He settled down and started fixing notes to arrows again.

Bucky shrugged. “I might if I knew who was on the other end of it,” he said. “I’m not a huge fan of anonymity. What if it’s Chad from IT?”

There was a horrified silence as they both considered the nightmare of being the target of advances from Chad in IT.

“He wouldn’t send notes like that though,” said Clint. “They’d just be four pages essays on how great he is.”

“That’s true,” agreed Bucky. Chad did enjoy talking about himself, to the exclusion of pretty much everything else. “And I guess I’ve seen a lot worse flirting coming through today.”

“Okay,” said Clint, “so what’s the worst chat up line you’ve actually had aimed at you in person?”

Bucky had to think about that. “When I was a lot younger, I was in a club and a guy came over and said he was a photographer, and he could picture me and him together.”

Clint winced. “Oh man. Please tell me you didn’t...”

“Oh, I did,” said Bucky, grinning. “What can I say? I was young and stupid, and he was pretty hot.” Not as hot as Clint was, though. Bucky wasn’t sure he could think of anyone who was, off the top of his head. “It was fine until he started trying to take photos while we were, you know, half-way through.”

“That sounds kinda distracting,” said Clint. “And, you know. Horribly invasive if you hadn’t discussed it beforehand.”

“Yep, both of those,” said Bucky. “How about you? Have you had anything worse than these?” He tapped his hand on the stack of notes.

Clint snorted. “I was an archer in a circus, remember? I got a shit-ton of terrible lines, most of them bad archery puns.”

“Oh yeah, I got a couple of soldier ones when I was in the Army,” said Bucky. “Although, that was a bit tricky with _Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell_.” 

“You were in the Army?” asked Clint.

Bucky gave him a blank stare and then lifted his prosthetic and waved his fingers at him. “What do you think?”

“Hey, that could have been anything,” said Clint. “I mean, there are a lot of rumours about it. My favourite is the one with the shark in the Hudson, because that ends with you punching it in the nose with your bleeding stump.”

Bucky just stared at him. “What?”

“And now I’m saying it, it occurs to me that it’s not the kind of thing to say to someone’s face,” said Clint. “Um. Sorry?”

Bucky shook his head. “Are you kidding? That’s way better than ‘yes, it was an IED, how did you guess?’”

“Oh yeah, nothing exciting about an IED,” said Clint. “How dull to be in a war zone.”

“Compared to working for Tony Stark? Definitely,” said Bucky.

Clint laughed. “Yeah, it’s more chaotic here than the circus as well.” He stood up and shifted the quiver over his shoulder. “Okay, here I go again.”

“Good luck,” said Bucky. “Try not to shoot anyone. Well, unless it turns out that Chad in IT is the one sending me chat-up lines, then you should definitely shoot him.”

“Understood,” said Clint and left.

Watching his ass walk out the door wasn’t getting any easier to cope with, even after multiple times of viewing it. Bucky took a moment to draw in a steadying breath. The day was nearly over, and then he’d probably never see as much of Clint’s body on display again.

Damn, that was a depressing thought.

 **Bucky:** _I just told Clint about the Army and losing my arm, and if that’s not in depth enough, I also told him about that photographer I slept with._  
**Bucky:** _Tony’s decided we’re having drinks tonight, so you’re up, Rogers._  
**Steve:** _Including the bit where you ripped the film out of his camera and he cried?_  
**Bucky:** _Not quite that much about him, no. I told him about the line he used, and him trying to take photos of me._  
**Sam:** _The judge rules it sufficient. Steve, get your gladrags on, you’re going out with the Stark Industries guys tonight._  
**Steve:** _Damn it. Why did Bucky have to pick today to become chatty?_  
**Bucky:** _You know I’ll do anything to wind you up. Even talk to the super-hot, funny guy that I’m spending the day with._  
**Sam:** _Your life is so hard._  
**Sam:** _Am I allowed to come and watch the show?_  
**Sam:** _I don’t know why I’m asking. I’m definitely not missing this._  
**Bucky:** _You can sit with Pepper and judge us all._  
**Sam:** _Sounds perfect._

****

_Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for._

“Are these getting worse, or is my resistance to them breaking down?” asked Bucky, adding it to the stack. They’d closed off the website for any new messages and Clint was just loading up for his last run around the building.

“Coulda been worse,” said Clint. He reached out to take Bucky’s hand and Bucky had to stop himself flinching back with surprise. “Are you Google Maps? I’m looking for the way to your heart,” said Clint, staring deeply into Bucky’s eyes.

There were calluses on Clint’s fingers, presumably from archery, and his eyes were a lot bluer than Bucky had realised. He had to work hard to force himself to focus on Clint’s words rather than the emotions caused by his proximity.

“You must be Google Translate,” he managed. “Because you add meaning to my life.”

Clint laughed with delight as he let go of Bucky’s hand. “Nice, that’s great. Well, terrible, but the great kind of terrible.”

“I could give this person a run for their money,” agreed Bucky, looking at the stack. “You know, if I knew who they were.”

“Yeah,” said Clint slowly, looking down at them.

Bucky’s eyes narrowed. “Wait, you know who it is, don’t you?”

“No, nope, of course not, how would-”

Bucky gave him the glare he used on Steve when he was getting too overprotective, and Clint crumbled.

“Okay, fine, maybe I do.”

“Who is it?” asked Bucky immediately.

Clint shook his head. “I’m not violating the sacred anonymity of the Cupid-O-Gram, sorry.” Bucky narrowed his eyes at him, looking for a weakness. “I am not just Cupid, after all. I’m also a mail guy. We take an oath,” added Clint.

“An oath,” repeated Bucky. “To deliver company mail?”

“Well, maybe I made up the oath and made everyone else take it,” said Clint. “I felt like we were missing out without some kind of ‘neither snow nor rain nor heat’ thing.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “Okay, I’m almost afraid to ask, but...what’s the Stark Industries mailroom oath?”

Clint stood up and set one hand on his heart. “Neither IT outage nor broken elevator nor R&D shutdown nor appearance of Stark stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.”

“‘Appearance of Stark’?” repeated Bucky as Clint sat back down.

“If you run into Tony when he’s in a friendly mood, you’re looking at a pretty hefty delay,” said Clint. “Even worse if he gets an idea.”

Bucky shuddered. Tony getting an idea had been the start of some of his worst days on the job. “Oh man, if he does end up going out with Steve,” he realised, “he’s gonna be hanging around our apartment having ideas.”

“Yup,” said Clint. “Maybe you should throw whatever this bet is?”

“Too late,” said Bucky, miserably. “I already won it. Steve’s coming with us tonight, and has to sit next to Tony. They’ll probably be making out by the end of the first round.”

“And having ideas by the second,” said Clint. “Yeah, that’s gonna suck for you. Hey, how thick are your walls? He doesn’t seem like the kind to be quiet during sex.”

Their walls were paper-thin. Oh god, why had Bucky not thought this through? “I should not have encouraged this at all.”

“You know, the only thing you can do,” said Clint, “is maybe find someone to have noisy sex with in retaliation?” There was a careful note in his voice and for a moment Bucky let himself believe he was about to volunteer his own services.

If he wanted to get with Bucky, though, why would he have spent the day going out of his way for whoever was sending Bucky the chat-up lines? Bucky looked back at the stack.

“Well, I guess there’s at least one person who’d say yes to that,” he said. “You don’t have to tell me who it is, but do you think it’s someone I’d be interested in?”

Clint hesitated, then shrugged. “No idea. Not like I know a lot about your tastes, right? I can confirm it’s not Chad from IT, though.”

“Well, there’s a small mercy,” said Bucky. “I don’t know that I have _tastes_ , really.” Well, other than for hot blond archers, obviously. “I’m bi, so I can’t even narrow it down by gender. As long as they’re funny and interesting and not obviously awful,” and right in front of him, “I guess I’d give them a chance, but…” he trailed off, because how was he meant to explain how little interest he’d had in anything like that since he got out of the Army? “I’m not really interested in a casual workplace fling,” he said. “Seems like something that could get messy.”

“Yeah,” said Clint, “I guess that’s true.” He stood up and slung his quiver on, picking up his bow. “Okay, here I go. See you in a bit.”

He left the office before Bucky could say anything else. As he was frowning after him, wondering if he’d put his foot in it somehow, Pepper came in.

“You should let him know that it wouldn’t be casual if you got together with him,” she said, pausing on her way through to her office.

“What?” said Bucky. “Hang on, you were standing outside listening?”

“It didn’t sound like the kind of conversation I should be interrupting,” she said. “I was just on the point of going to get coffee and coming back later when you managed to mess it all up on your own.”

“That’s not what happened,” said Bucky, but now he was starting to doubt himself.

Pepper gave him the exasperated look that he was more used to seeing directed at Tony. “Men,” she muttered. “Clint has been trying to get your attention all day,” she said, as if he were a small child. “You’ve just told him something that he’s heard as ‘I wouldn’t date a co-worker’. You should clarify your position on that.”

Bucky did his best not to just stare gormlessly at her. “He’s been what?”

“Oh for the love of god,” she said, and turned away towards her office. “Sort it out yourself,” she said as she disappeared inside.

Bucky ran through the conversation he’d just had with Clint, and then back over the other conversations they’d had that day. He didn’t see what she was talking about, but Steve had said the same thing, so maybe he should be trusting their judgement and-

And what? Flirting with Clint? Asking him out? Trying to find a casual way to drop in that he’d really, really like to lick over the lines of his abs after a day of staring at them.

Yeah, that last one was probably a bit much, but….fuck. Spending the day talking to Clint had made it clear that it wasn’t just his appearance Bucky was attracted to. He liked spending time with him, liked how his face lit up when Bucky made him laughed, liked his irreverent sense of humour. He wanted to get to know him better and find out what other things he’d like about him, given a chance.

Fuck it, he was going to do it. Not here, though, at the bar later, so that if Clint said no at least they weren’t in work.

He looked at the stack of Valentines that had been sent through for Clint and considered quickly losing them, but that seemed like a dick move. Instead, he opened the website up again just long enough to put his own message through and printed it out to add to the pile.

****

Disappointingly, but perhaps understandingly, Clint got changed before they went to the bar.

“I’m not committed to the Cupid lifestyle enough to freeze my nipples off.”

“Just one of your many failures as an employee,” said Tony cheerfully. He clapped his hands together. “Are we all ready? Pep, are you coming?” he called through into her office as Bucky put on his coat and tried not to think about how Clint managed to look almost as hot in a hoodie, a battered jacket and a purple knitted hat as he did in the Cupid costume. It probably didn’t help that he still had the bow and quiver slung over his shoulder, so he looked like some kind of urban Robin Hood.

“Not a chance!” she called back.

“Are they going to let us in if you’re armed?” Bucky asked Clint as they headed for the elevator.

“Sure,” said Clint, hitting the call button. “We’re with Tony Stark in a generous mood, you really think any bar is going to turn us away?”

“He makes a good point,” said Tony. “I’ve got weirder shit past bouncers than a bow just on strength of my name. And bank account.”

“Here’s a tip for talking to Steve,” said Bucky. “Don’t mention that. Any of it.”

“Understood,” said Tony, putting his hands in his pockets and rocking on his feet. “So, uh, any other tips?”

The elevator doors slid open as Bucky considered that and they went inside. “Don’t try and impress him with money or power, don’t do anything that might come across as bullying, don’t mention Nazis and do not, under any circumstances, give him an excuse to jump through a window.”

Clint started laughing. Bucky gave him a deadly serious look. “I’m not joking. Steve’s jumped out of more windows than I can count. I’ve been trying to get him to kick the habit.”

“Okay, now I kinda want to see if I can get him to jump out a window,” said Clint as the elevator reached the lobby and the doors dinged open. “Are you with me, Tony?”

“If either of you enable his window-jumping habit, I’ll throw you out after him,” said Bucky, then wondered if maybe he should be flirting with Clint rather than threatening him.

“Probably worth it,” said Clint.

“Definitely worth it,” agreed Tony.

Bucky sighed. Why the hell had he encouraged Steve and Tony getting together? This was going to be a nightmare.

There was a handful of other employees waiting for them in the lobby who Tony bounded over to in excitement, leaving Bucky and Clint to walk together as they headed over to the bar.

This was it. Bucky’s chance to flirt.

Every single flirtatious comment vanished from his mind. Shit.

“So, how was your Valentine’s Day?” asked Clint. “As bad as you thought it was going to be?”

“I didn’t think it was-” protested Bucky, then gave up when Clint raised an amused eyebrow at him. “Okay, fine, I thought it was going to suck. It’s been pretty good, though. Having Cupid around worked out pretty well for me.”

Clint laughed. “Because you’ve now got a secret admirer?”

“Oh yeah, just what I needed, someone willing to spend over a hundred bucks on making me roll my eyes,” said Bucky.

“It kinda shows dedication to purpose,” said Clint.

“Like shooting god knows how many arrows at your colleagues?” asked Bucky. “Aren’t your shoulders aching right now?”

Clint clicked his tongue. “Don’t confuse me with some mere amateur. I’m the amazing Hawkeye, remember? I can shoot all day and still hit a swinging target while hanging upside by my knees at the end of it.”

He was walking close enough to Bucky that their arms rubbed together. Bucky didn’t move away. “That actually sounds pretty impressive,” said Bucky. “If I ask to see it some time, do I need to clarify that I don’t mean in the bar tonight?”

“My days of impromptu archery competitions in bars are behind me,” said Clint, which opened up a realm of questions Bucky wasn’t sure he wanted answers to. “Nah, if you want me to wow you, you’ll have to come by my range some time.”

“Your range?”

“Well, the range I work at,” amended Clint. “It’s over in Brooklyn.”

“You have another job?” asked Bucky.

“Oh yeah,” said Clint. “I teach classes three nights a week and Saturdays mornings, but it’s just not enough hours so I have to do mornings at SI as well.”

“You only work mornings?” said Bucky, and Clint gave him a very long look.

“Haven’t you noticed that I’m never around after lunch?”

Bucky shrugged. “I see you once a day, first thing. How am I meant to know you’re not hiding out in the mailroom trying to recover from the altitude of the top floor for the rest of the day?”

Clint considered that. “Okay, you make a good point.”

They got to the bar and filled a couple of booths, then Tony announced he was getting the first round in and told the waitress to start a tab. Bucky pulled out his phone.

 **Bucky:** _If you’re not on your way, you’re going to lose your chance to sit next to Tony._  
**Steve:** _Hold your horses, I’ll be there soon._  
**Sam:** _With chocolates and roses and your hearts in your eyes? Just leaving work now, be there in about half an hour._  
**Bucky:** _I’m beginning to see the Nancy Meyers obsession now._

Right, that was Steve’s chance with his crush sorted, now it was time to arrange his.

Bucky took a deep breath and stood up. “Save my seat,” he said to Clint, who nodded and went back to trying to explain to the rest of the table why Cupid hadn’t been wearing a shirt. So far, his argument seemed to mainly be, ‘Greece is kinda hot.’ Bucky didn’t have the heart to tell him that Cupid was Roman.

Bucky went to the bar. “Please tell me you can make me some horribly sticky Valentines-esque drink.”

The bartender gave him a grin. “You’re in luck,” he said, and nodded at a sign advertising a Valentine’s cocktail.

“Perfect,” said Bucky. “I’ll have one of those.”

It was bright red and came with a cherry on a stick and a straw bent into the shape of a heart. Bucky carried it over and set it down in front of Clint, who stared at it with an awed look of horror.

“Oh man, what did I do to deserve this?”

“Well, you were the best Cupid I think Stark Industries has ever had,” said Bucky, “you raised nearly two and a half thousand dollars for charity-”

“Which I’m going to match,” said Tony. “And then round up to five thousand, because why not?”

Clint grinned at him. “Thanks, man,” he said, looking pink-cheeked and pleased with himself. Bucky wondered what else might cause that expression, then had to force his thoughts back on track.

“-and you received the most Valentine’s notes by far,” he finished, setting the stack down in front of Clint. “Who knew that the way to get attention was to run around in little more than a tiny pair of shorts?”

“I did, I knew that,” said Tony. “Man, spring break at college was a wild time.”

“Do us all a favour,” said Steve, who had arrived while Bucky was at the bar and dutifully sat down next to Tony, “and don’t try and relive it. I think there’s been enough tiny shorts for one day.”

Tony grinned at him. “So you’re saying I should wait until tomorrow?”

“Sure,” said Steve. “I won’t be seeing you tomorrow.”

Bucky ignored them both in favour of watching Clint read through his notes, occasionally pausing to take a slug of Valentine’s cocktail. 

Bucky had put his own one at the very bottom and now he was second-guessing himself. What had he been thinking? There was no way Clint wanted to go out with a guy like him. He’d fucked up, and now he was going to have nothing but awkward every morning when Clint brought up the mail, oh man, unless he got someone else from the mailroom to do it, and Bucky never saw him again and-

Clint picked up the last paper in the pile.

_I don’t care how cheesy the messages are when the messenger is as great as you are. Let me take you out some time? - Bucky_

Clint just stared at it and Bucky found himself holding his breath. Steve and Tony were still bantering about something and the bar was getting increasingly crowded as the post-work crowd built up, but he could barely hear any of that as he waited for Clint’s verdict.

Clint looked up at him with a gobsmacked look. “This is from you.”

“Yeah,” said Bucky. “So?”

There was another heart-stopping pause, then Clint’s face bloomed into a wide grin. “Of course I’ll go out with you,” he said, and Bucky started breathing again.

“Good,” he said, smiling back. 

Clint reached over and took his hand, giving it a squeeze. “I was totally going to wait until you had a couple of drinks inside you before I asked,” he said. “I figured you’d be more likely to say yes if you were a bit drunk.”

Bucky laughed as relief surged through him, followed by a tingling sense of anticipation. “I’da said yes first thing this morning, before I’d even finished my coffee,” he said, sliding into the seat next to Clint. “Hell, I’da said yes yesterday, before I’d even saw you in that ridiculous outfit.”

“Ridiculous?” repeated Clint, raising an eyebrow.

“Mind-meltingly hot,” amended Bucky.

Clint laughed, then leaned in and kissed him. Holy hell, he was kissing the hot mailroom guy, this was the best Valentine’s Day ever. Clint tasted of fruit and alcohol, which was hardly surprising, given how much of the cocktail he’d already managed to drink.

“Oh, they’re going to be insufferable now,” Bucky heard Steve say, somewhere far off.

“Well, if you wanted to be insufferable as well, I’m sitting right here,” said Tony, and Bucky made himself pull away from Clint long enough to glance over. Tony was giving Steve the usual Stark grin, but he’d worked for him long enough to see the vulnerability behind the brittle shell.

Steve looked at him for a long moment and Bucky tried to will him not to just laugh it off. Just as Tony’s grin began to falter, Steve said, “Yeah, okay,” very softly, then cupped his hand around Tony’s cheek and kissed him.

“Guess your bet worked out,” said Clint, and Bucky turned back to him.

“Oh yeah,” he agreed, and kissed him again, just because he could. “Got me you, didn’t it?”

“I was the bet?” asked Clint.

“Yeah,” said Bucky. “If I finally talked to the hot mailroom guy I’d been going on about forever, Steve agreed to come along tonight.”

Clint laughed. “That is a worst nickname than big bad wolf, please tell me no one calls me that.”

“Just me, as far as I know,” said Bucky. “Although, you paraded around the office dressed as Cupid and showing off your crazy archery skills today, so who know what people are calling you now?”

Clint had an arm around his shoulders that he used to pull him in closer. “Well, you can call me Genie,” he said, “because I’m going to make all your dreams come true.”

It took Bucky several seconds to put it all together, and then he felt like an idiot for not realising earlier. “Wait, those notes were from you?”

“Yup,” said Clint.

“All of them?”

Clint laughed. “I can’t believe you didn’t realise. I thought for sure you knew when you sent me one of my own.” He leaned in close enough for Bucky to feel his breath against his lips. “You must be a broom because you just swept me off my feet,” he murmured.

Bucky couldn’t stop himself from giving into temptation and kissing him, even as he wanted to groan at the bad line.

“How many of those do you have?” he asked.

Clint grinned. “Enough to still be using them on Valentine’s Day next year.”

“I think I’m changing my mind about this,” said Bucky.

“Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got fine written all over you,” said Clint, and Bucky kissed him to shut him up. And also because he really wanted to just keep kissing him.

“Oh god, I’m too late,” said a voice, and he pulled away and turned to Sam staring at him and Clint, and Steve and Tony, with an expression of great dismay. “I missed the hilariously awkward attempting-to-flirt stage, and now I’m stuck in fifth wheel hell.”

“Guess you can’t deny the power of Cupid’s arrows,” said Tony, draping his arm around Steve’s shoulders.

Sam groaned. “I need a drink. I need all the drinks.”

“It’s all on Tony’s tab,” said Bucky, and he brightened.

“And there’s the silver lining. Keep buying me booze, Stark, and I’ll forgive you almost anything.” He headed for the bar.

“Well, that seems like a challenge,” said Tony, slowly.

Steve groaned. “No, Tony, just...no.”

The look on Tony’s face made it clear he was already plotting something but they weren’t at work anymore, so it wasn’t Bucky’s problem. If Steve was going to date him, he could try his hand at reining him in. Bucky was going to go back to kissing the taste of cocktail from Clint’s lips.


End file.
